My Friends Call Me Molten "Two Suits" Boron

I now own two suits.

I don't possess two suits, but I own two suits. I possess one suit. The second suit is currently a bailment of which I am the bailor. Brooks Brothers is the bailee of said suit, on the understanding that they will return it to me on August 11th, with certain modifications having been made to it (shortening the sleeves, making a 1.5 inch cuff on the pants, etc).

Nonetheless, I now own two suits, where three hours ago I owned one. After having gotten the bum's rush out of first Macy's, then Brooks Brothers on Park Avenue, then Sak's Fifth Avenue, then Barney's, I finally got serviced by a salesperson at Brooks Brothers on Madison Avenue. The rushing of my bum was entirely justified at Barney's and Sak's; they literally had no suits for less than one thousand dollars, and their average suit cost more than two thousand dollars. I'm not sure what went on at the first Brooks Brothers, and Macy's just doesn't employ salespersons who care to make sales, apparently.

Anyhow, I now own a very nice, conservative grey pinstriped worsted wool suit. It's single-breasted, has two buttons, a low button stance, a single vent, and hand-stitched panels. It's a size 36, which I discovered is the smallest suit they make. I had to buy a rather more expensive suit than I was initially looking at because I apparently have freakishly narrow shoulders. They didn't have anything that worked off-the-rack, so I had to buy a suit from the fitted suit section. This means it's tapered, with a european fit that suits my form quite well.

It also cost more than the entire rest of my wardrobe combined. And that includes the suit I bought in February. The sticker price was $900, no sales, no discounts, and it leapt to nearly $1000 with tax.

This is quite a lot for me. I just spent more on one suit than I believe I've spent on food this entire year. Certainly more than I've spent on videos, books, video games, board games, and probably all of my other entertainments combined.

I am told that people can tell a nice suit from a cheap one. I am told that hiring partners at law firms can spot a cheap suit in an instant. I am told that the one thing one does not want to be at a law firm is the competent fellow who can get the job done, but who can't appear in court or be shown to clients because he dresses too shabbily. This is a recipe for getting overworked and underappreciated, toiling ceaselessly in the obscurity of the back office.

And yet: I can't, if I'm being honest, tell the difference between my $900 suit and something purchased off-the-rack at Men's Wearhouse for $200. Maybe this is something I'll pick up. Or maybe this was all a huge waste of money.

In any case, I now own two suits.