Since everyone I read is jumping on the bandwagon, it seems worth pointing out that I've been hating phones for years. I am, as it were, an OG phone hater.

I hate calling people because I'm always worried that I'm interupting something important or otherwise harassing them at a bad time. Yes, I realize they could just tell me they're busy and hang up, but I know that if I get a call from someone I'm always too polite to get them off the phone unless I really urgently can't talk. I'm always worried that if I call someone and they claim to be not busy they are still, secretly, annoyed at the call and too polite to say anything.

I hate receiving calls because I don't have adequate time to prepare myself. I'm minding my own business, playing a video game, reading, watching television, doing homework, when suddenly with a piercing shriek I am thrust head-long into an unanticipated conversation. I find myself at the wrong end of the element of surprise. This is why, when you first get me on the phone, I will tend to stammer a lot; I have been thrust out of bed into battlefield conditions and am still trying to get my wits about me.

This is why I don't own a cell phone. It's bad enough having a phone in my room. The idea of having a phone ready to strike at a moment's notice, at any time, day or night, wherever I might be, is utterly horrifying.

Given a choice, I would always, always prefer to transact business through some form of electronic text, be it e-mail for long, thought-out conversations or IM for faster coordinating-future-activities type communication. Talking on the phone is a barbaric relic of the Twentieth Century that we would do well to put behind us.



After hearing repeatedly from others that I continuously either fail to return telephone calls or in the alternative wait several hours and often a day or two before finally returning the call , I began to objectively examine my pattern regarding such behavior. Excluding business land lines, my personal lines consists of both a land line and a cellular line. However, approximately 90% of activity pertains to the cellular. Therefore, the failure to return telephone calls also pertains to the cellular communication. Furthermore, the type of telephone calls in which I allegedly failed to return would fall under the classification of "personal" (opposed to business).

Summarizing the fact pattern as follows: After the issue had been raised by numerous people who each referenced multiple occasions whereby I had demonstrated a pattern of not returning their personal (not associated with business) calls or had waited several hours and often a few days before returning the call, I concluded that possibly this topic deserved an objective self-examination into said alleged past cellular conduct, as well as being cognitive of the treatment of future return calls. I emphasize that the referenced calls were strictly personal and/or pleasure in nature, and none related to business.

Based upon the above, my reluctance and failure to return calls did not risk financial or monetary loss or loss of business opportunity, but instead risked only the possible loss of an opportunity involving pleasure, fun, and/or a personal caliber. Accordingly, one could easily set forth the theory that the possibility of a lost opportunity associated with merely fun and pleasure as a result of the routine and reoccurring inability to complete the simple task of picking up a telephone and returning calls does not merit the time spent on attempting to figure out why such a simplistic task is consistently not accomplished, and especially when the only loss is something as trivial as fun and pleasure.

Despite theories of same or similar manner as to whether further delving into the topic is warranted, the issue remains that the above described pattern of behavior exists. In addition, I am not purposely and intentionally attempting to avoid contact with the person when I fail to return the call or wait several hours or days before doing such. In fact, the calls are from people that I like and enjoy being around. Nor do the calls involve a situation or event which I am intentionally attempting to a avoid by not returning the call. But, instead involve a situation or event which I would consider fun and pleasurable.

After applying an objective analysis of the above stated telephone behavior based upon research and an analytical approach to possible theories which give rise to this specific behavior, as well as ruling out theories that prove inapplicable or weak in application to the facts as expressed, I have reached the following conclusion: I have sustained a condition known as "TELEPHOBIA" , also known as, "PHONEPHOBIA" , which for those that are not familiar with the definition or symptom s is defined as a psychological condition in which an individual experiences extreme fear or avoidance of using the telephone. Although I would not characterize my condition as an extreme fear or extreme in nature, it easily fits within the confines of reluctance and is definitely avoidance.


So after reading this blog border lining on boredom ,
are there any responses that address the theory and/or involve a blogger
that may experience the same or similar condition - specificity is appreciated, but of course not required. - MOJOJACK

Maybe you'd have less trouble calling people if you didn't feel it necessary to couch your ideas in loquacious and highly technical language?

I'd be nicer, but I'm 95% certain, based on your e-mail address and website, that you are a spammer. Still, though, it's highly on-topic spam, and you certainly put a lot of effort into it. Kudos!

I Found an informative article/blog which I thought may be helpful regarding TELEPHOBIA. If you ignore the disclaimer at the end of the article and the sarcastic babbling found directly after the title (which I could have deleted when reprinting this response for your blog, but did not do so based on the apprehension that it could interfere with the reader absorbing 100% of the effect the article delivers or possibly eradicate a latent message deliberately included by the author to provide valuable information or help), I believe you will find this article/blog insightful and similar to the thoughts most 'TELEPHOBICS' encounter on a daily basis. Hopefully this article will be as beneficial to you and past/future respondents, as well as to friends, family and loved ones of 'TELEPHOBICS' just as it was to my friends, family, and loved ones. And last but not least, optimistically help the actual ‘Telephobic’. This article really opened my eyes, and should do the same for those who take the time and make the personal investment to read it.
This is the website directly to the original article:


TELEPHOBIA: The Stodgy and Old Fashioned Show Remarkable Signs of Acceptance by Easily and Willingly Accepting Rejection of This Psychological Condition


(reprinted, adapted & edited version for the non-believers, scoffers, doubters, chastisers, misguided, misinformed, objectors, rejecters, detractors, attackers, deprecators, calumniators & non-empathetic; footnotes intentionally omitted)


The psychological condition in which an individual experiences extreme fear, avoidance, or reluctance regarding use of the telephone, referred to in “quasi-medical” terminology as 'Telephobia', has at least been given a definition. Regardless of whether it is a full fledged and widely accepted medical definition, at least it has been deemed worthy of “quasi-medical” status. Although a small minority in the medical profession are languidly and stodgily starting to acknowledge that such a psychological condition exists or at minimum specific symptoms of said impairment have manifested within certain individuals, expectations of majority wide acceptance should remain within a range of nominal to null. But such pessimism is only expected when the medical profession cannot even agree to induct a word (Telephobia) into its Hall of Fame of medical definitions thereby anointing it with the sacred vial of medical oil. Possibly the profession could take the suggestion made to major league baseball whereby the asterisk (*) follows the grand ceremony of induction.

Due to the limited number of individuals or those willing to step forward and acknowledge being affected by such an impairment or acquiescent to seek medical attention, case studies are meager and desirous of truly conveying an accurate and precise study of Telephobia. And without proper data, case studies, clinical studies, case histories, and other critical and crucial information which has formed the roots in analyzing many of the obscure, unknown, and unacknowledged illnesses, impairments, and disabilities of the past which are now in present day year 2008 considered common, routine, and widely treatable, it is extremely difficult if not rendered almost impossible to correctly diagnose and successfully treat Telephobia.

But despite the sparse medical acceptance of said impairment, the lack of the above stated imperious and compelling information and data creates an environment within the medical profession that the theories associated with the diagnosis and treatment of Telephobia by practitioners and researchers who are apt to formulate and develop such are merely untenable, implausible, incredible, lacking merit or a principled foundation, or simply unconvincing. Not to mention that assuming medical strides and acceptance were to reach a super majority, there still remains those in the medical field that will refuse to accept that this impairment exists and decline to embrace Telephobia as a legitimate psychological condition. And, it is these die-hard rejecters that wag the proverbial dog.

With all that is said and that which still remains unsaid, it leaves the lay-person who is affected by such a psychological condition to remain perplexed as he or she is mired in wonderment, uncertainty, and confusion while at the same time fostering attitudes that are dubious, skeptical , suspectful, mistrustful, and suspicious of a profession that each within had once sworn an Oath to do no harm or in a lay-person's mind to help those in medical need.

* Disclaimer: Not intended to be ground breaking or worthy of praiseful accolades. Intended for informative purposes only. Please consult a medical professional if agitation lasts for more than four (4) hours.


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This page contains a single entry by Zach published on February 11, 2007 11:39 PM.

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