Well, not really, but nonetheless: It's snowing, on April 5, which is well past the Statute of Limitations for Snow, particularly in light of last week's consistent mid-to-high 60s weather. This lends further evidence to my theory that the weather is determined by my suit-wearing schedule. The weather always takes a turn for the worse just when I need to go out in nice clothes, as tonight when I'll be making Moot Court oral arguments. My theory is that this will stop as soon as I buy a trenchcoat to protect my suit from unauthorized aquatic intrusion.
Anyhow, Moot Court orals tonight. Wheeeee. Oral Arguments entale presenting the case I made in my various moot court briefs before a panel of three Celebrity Guest Judges (Columbia Law alumni). The trick is that it's not just a speech; it's a back-and-forth with the judges. You talk and they can interrupt at any time to ask questions. It is, I have heard, a fifteen minute grilling in which you are judged on how well you respond to their questions and how much of your actual argument you can squeeze in between interruptions. Moreover, there is the master-servant social dichotomy; judges are permitted to interrupt you at any time, to talk over you, whatever. You are required to listen quietly until the judge is done. You're expected to treat the judges with respect and decorum. Judges are under no such obligation with respect to you, and in fact see it as part of the game of Moot Court to try to anger you into a misstep, be it through giving you a hard time, justified or not, about your arguments or through a more generalized disrespect.
I don't mind this per se; the social dichotomy is a reproduction of actual dealings with judges. What's annoying is that Moot Court judges apparently feel a positive obligation to take this to the extreme. One frequent Columbia Moot Court judge introduces himself by saying, "Hello, my name is _______, and I'm here to make your life hell for the next fifteen minutes."
So that's what I'll be doing this evening. Being berated by judges in my soggy suit. I have to say that, at this point, taking certain people's suggestion of interpreting this as Mute Court and delivering my oral arguments in mime is highly tempting. But how do you mime "Authorization to access a wireless network?"
