Molten Boron

Black and white houndstooth check. Failing that, paisley in any color you can find (though shades of green and pink are highly recommended).

Harumph. I've neither houndstooth nor paisley underpants. I dearly want paisley underpants, but have been unable to find the pattern in men's underwear. To be fair, I tend towards the brief persuasion, and there's a distinct paucity of interesting colors and patterns among briefs. Briefs tend to be restricted to the horrible translucent white cotton variety (of which I am proud to say I have none). As such, finding interesting briefs is a far more difficult and engaging task than finding interesting boxer shorts, so that's where my attention is generally directed.

I do own some boxer shorts out of lust for some pattern that is simply unavailable in briefs. I'm quite fond of my snowflake boxer shorts, there's a nice be-polka dotted pair, and my unreasonable taste for heart-print underpants (heart-print being the classic "embarrasing" underwear through countless generations of sitcoms) has lead me to own several pairs of those.

If it's any consolation, though, I do own several pairs of green briefs. And multiple shades of pink briefs! (Hot pink and pastel)

I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I do not know what houndstooth looks like. I once used the term quite often to describe patterns. Then, while looking at ties at a department store, I discovered that there were no less than three distinct patterns that I had, on prior occasions, identified as houndstooth. I have therefore determined that "Houndstooth" is the name I give to any pattern that I don't know what it's called.

Circa 1971 Blue Barrel's orange.

Visceral purple sateen with velveteen trim. Faux.

hound's fur with teeth imprints.

The last pair doesn't seem so lucky. Either for the hound or for whoever was wearing them when the teeth marks got there. Although I suppose it would depend on the circumstances, the tastes of the wearer, and the identity of the owner of the teeth that made the marks...