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November 16, 2005
Curse you, Piers Anthony, and your damnable puns!
I ran into the Barnes and Noble in Union Square at 9:59. It closes at 10. I wanted to check on something in a Piers Anthony book. Piers Anthony, for those who don’t know, is quite fond of puns, particularly in the titles of his books. The book I wanted to check was Isle of View. I ran upstairs. Science Fiction was on the fourth floor. By the time I got there they were clearing people out. I got the security guard to let me check just this one thing, quickly. There was a young woman standing in the Science Fiction/Fantasy section. The following dialogue ensued:
Clerk: I’m sorry, we’re closing now.
Me: I just have to check one thing fast, I know exactly what I’m looking for.
Clerk: Tell me what it is and I’ll get it for you.
Me: Okay. It’s by Piers Anthony, Isle of View.
Clerk: WHAT.
Me: No, I mean, Isle… Of… View
(Here it should be pointed out that, it being late, me being under a lot of stress, and the clerk being an attractive female, I was stuttering like crazy here. My first sentence in this dialogue was more like “I … j-j-j.. ust … have t-to … ch-ch-check one thing … fffffffast, I knnnnnnow ex…actly what I’m … lllllooking for.” So, when I carefully said “Isle … Of … View,” spacing out the words, it didn’t sound materially different from how I’d been talking before)
Clerk: I think you’d better leave, sir.
Me: No! I mean, it’s like a pun. It’s Isle, like, I-S-L-E Of, O-F, View, V-I-E-W.
Clerk: *glances at books* We don’t have it. Please leave.
Me: Alright (At this point I saw it behind her, but wasn’t about to contradict her)
Posted by Zach at November 16, 2005 12:24 AM
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Comments
I probably could have saved you that entire conversation by telling you the following:
Whatever Xanth book it may have been in which I was credited for a pun, it can't possibly have been Isle of View. The books that came out after I started reading the series, I snapped up new as soon as they came out. The books that were already out when I started reading, I bought used. My copy of Isle of View was well-used when I got it.
That said, even if the clerk thought you were looking for a book called I Love You, she shouldn't have been a dick about it. Authors are allowed to use phrases like that as the titles of their books, which means that bookstores should allow patrons to ask for them. I recently purchased a novel by Garrison Keillor called Love Me. If I asked for it by name, saying, "I want a book by Garrison Keillor, Love Me," should I have been frostily kicked out? No, absolutely not. This story makes me extremely indignant.
Posted by: Dianna at November 16, 2005 11:55 AM
Shit, I think I'm wrong. I just looked at the cover on Amazon.com and realized that I was thinking of a different book. My copy of Isle of View was new. I think it was Heaven Cent that I was remembering as old and well-worn, although that one's been reissued with a different cover and I'm having trouble finding the original image to jog my memory.
Please ignore the first two paragraphs of my previous comment and consider only my indignation.
Posted by: Dianna at November 16, 2005 12:01 PM